Before the Diagnosis

I have been a working mom of three for a long time. I homeschooled all three while working for six years, then two of them for two more years. I continued my dyslexic daughter's reading lessons even after Roger took over the other homeschool subjects. Fatigue is nothing new. Every time I go to the doctor, I complain of fatigue. My thyroid results always come back normal. Not low normal, really normal.

A few years ago, I put on too much weight, causing my blood pressure and cholesterol to creep up. Other than that, my vital signs and bloodwork were normal. I changed my diet to include fewer carbs and fewer seconds and lost 15 pounds. I was sure this would result in healthier cholesterol and bp levels, and for a while I even felt healthier. My endo doctor had told me not to lose weight since a little excess weight helps protect the bones from breaking in osteoporosis patients, but I decided my high cholesterol and bp warranted losing some weight anyway.

When my middle daughter started high school and we only had one student at home, and Roger took over most of the homeschool duties, my stress level was significantly reduced. Again, I felt healthier and less fatigued, at least for a few months.

I normally go to the doctor for a physical every other year. Last year, I just never got around to it. I always seemed to be so behind, and I struggled to get my hours in at work even though I work part time outside of tax season. The running mantra in my mind was, "I just have to get my act together. I have to stay focused and concentrate."

Then during tax season, it was easier to grab a handful of chips or pop some microwave popcorn than to make a salad. My healthier diet fell by the wayside. Yet, I began losing weight again. I thought that reducing carbs, even temporarily, must have really jumpstarted my metabolism. By summer, I had lost another 10 pounds while eating whatever I wanted. When tax season started, I'd been exercising pretty regularly, but by the middle of February, that fell by the wayside, too. Losing weight without dieting and without exercising is every woman's fantasy, right? I sure wasn't complaining.

I have a tendency to kick off my shoes while I'm at work. At some point during tax season, I noticed that it was hard to get my shoes back on at night before I went home. I'd go home and take my socks off, and see that my feet and ankles were swollen, and some nights, my legs were also swollen. By morning, the swelling was reduced, and I'd think to myself that I need to get up and walk around more rather than sitting at my desk for 12 hours straight.

Then the night sweats started. I'd be freezing when I got in bed, 1/2 hour later I'd kick the blankets off, then in the middle of the night, I'd wake up soaked in sweat. I thought it was aging. After all, I did turn 47 in January.

I noticed my fingernails were peeling and I had to keep them cut short. I thought it was because I'd stopped taking fish oil supplements.

I often carry a box of work and my laptop when I go to work, because I work at home some days. I have to climb one flight of stairs. Some days, I had to stop and catch my breath before opening the door to go into the office. I didn't want anyone to see me struggling for breath after climbing one flight of stairs. I'd think to myself that I am so out of shape and I really need to start exercising again.

After tax season, I should have had more time and more energy. But I didn't. I couldn't focus or concentrate, so it was taking me 10-12 hours to work 6. By lunchtime, I felt a fog come over my brain, and I'd try to push through it with caffeine. Some days, caffeine worked to lift the fog and some days it didn't. I continued blaming myself, telling myself I needed to force myself to concentrate. I thought aging was making me lazy. At home, I was no longer helping much at all with laundry, cooking, or other chores. I just couldn't find the time or energy.

Then in June, we went to Maryland for our annual family reunion. I had lots of time to rest and relax. Instead of coming back on Sunday and returning to work on Monday, we came back on Wednesday and had some time to relax at home before returning to work. I noticed that my left hip was hurting a little bit, and it felt deep in the bone, not muscle pain. I worried a bit about my bone density numbers, but since I knew I'd be getting an updated bone density test soon, I figured there was no point in worrying until the results came back. That Monday, I had a good day at work. I was focused and got a lot done. That was my last good day. Tuesday, it was the same old routine - work 10 minutes, get distracted for 10 minutes.

By this point, if I'd seen the lists of symptoms for chronic myelogenous leukemia and anemia side by side, I would have realized that I had all the symptoms of both. Of course, I would have thought I was being a hypochondriac and I wouldn't have considered that I might actually have a serious illness. I was about to find out, though.