November was my best month so far and hopefully more months like that will be in my future. I felt normal for most of the month. I traveled three times (to Washington DC for a tax conference, to Charleston, SC for Katie's dance competition, and to Baltimore for Thanksgiving with family) and didn't feel worn out from it.
On November 29, I felt myself beginning to spiral down. During December, I have felt tired and sluggish, and I have struggled to be productive at work. "Cancer fatigue" is different from normal fatigue in that coffee, vitamins, and rest do not offer a reprieve. I am thankful that I am not experiencing pain, nausea, and other symptoms that often come with cancer and its treatment. But I do get frustrated when I can't be productive or do all the things I'd like to do.
Sometimes I think that Roger will think I'm just being lazy and not wanting to help around the house, but he often tells me that I sound or look tired before I say anything about how I'm feeling. He encourages me to take it easy and get more rest. I am thankful that he is understanding and supportive.
We are blessed to see how God provides for us in spite of my struggles. As most of you reading this know, I am the breadwinner for our family. But in months that I've struggled and my hours were low, a carpentry job seems to drop in Roger's lap and he is able to make up the shortfall.
My monthly doctor appointments have become rather routine. My blood counts have been stable for several months now. In January, I will have my six-month appointment, so that one is a bigger deal. I will have my pcr checked again, and we really want to see a decrease this time.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers. This cannot be an easy time of year with all the activities your kids probably have. Give yourself permission to take naps. And always give yourself permission to cry!!!!! When frustration builds within me related to my health I think it's not what a mature Christian woman should do, but many times David spoke in the Psalms of how many times his tears flowed. If David, a man God loved dearly, could do it and still be considered a man after God's own heart, why not us? Tears have a therapeutic effect. In a way they help us let go of things that are too heavy for us to carry.
ReplyDeleteDavid, I clicked on your name to go to your google plus page, but couldn't see a way to email or contact you. Can you post your question here?
ReplyDeleteThanks,
Elizabeth